A Special Day In Every Month
Wednesday, November 09, 2011 @ 12:47:00 PM
There is this one day. This one special day in every month when I always feel like shit. I feel like I'm not happy OR I will never be happy in that day. I feel like I wanna throw anything, everything, just to feel better. I know, months ago, that this day will come. A day when my life has been succesfully ruined up. A day when my heart and my mind tell me to pretend harder. Eveeeeen harder. A day when I have to smile all day long just to show that "Hey you right there, look at me, I'm happy too, right here".Everyday I never felt that hurt. Hurt that only happens in that day. That very same day in every month. I want to tell the truth but it will ruin everything. I want to stop pretending just for that day but it will be even worse. I want to through that day like any other day but I can't. I want to be this 'always-happy-me' like everyday but I can't. I want to stop being suddenly week for that day but I can't.
Feels like I'm automatically changing myself when I'm alone in that day. My mind is effed up. Suddenly everything is just a big whole epic mess. Nothing can fix myself in that day, when I'm alone. That's why I always look for someone who'd take me out in that day. That's why I always keep myself being busy in that day. I'd do anything just to make me happy, just to forget everything. But I don't wanna ruin anyone's life just because they've ruined mine. Note that!!!
even if i'm not, but i hope you're happy
xoxo,
Gita♥